Will Work 4 $$$

gym day 2: i'm a fucking idiot

did all the same machines as i did yesterday and decided the pain meant it was working. the only thing not a’painin is my va-jay-jay.

first day at the Y

we’ll see how i feel tomorrow, but i spent about 1.5 hours lifting weights and riding the stationary recumbant bicycle. the hubs and i just joined the local YMCA so that i would have something to do other than job searching, writing blog entries and getting fatter. this could be the start of something painful…but hopefully successful. i’m not sure how successful, though, since i was doing the same weight machines and weight as the 80 year old ladies also at the Y at 2:30pm on a Wednesday. better than nothing. :)

On "Cable, Satellite Providers to Push Pay-per-View Porn"

if you hadn’t read the actual article, it discusses the shifts in how major cable providers are approaching offering and promoting PPV adult films. previously, adult films were unpromoted and the man with the need to get his rocks off had to look and browse around the PPV channels until he found his jackpot. cable providers wouldn’t think of promoting adult films and considered themselves on the moral high-ground. now, DirectTV will begin promoting adult content on male-oriented channels (think ESPN or Spike) between 2am and 6am.

why the change? porn is profitable. when a cable provider works with a hollywood studio to broadcast films, the cable provider is getting the short end of the stick and generally has a smaller pay-off cut than the hollywood studio. but with porn, cable providers get 90% of the PPV revenue. that’s a much sexier meatball.

then, you have the competition: internet porn. which is practically the internet’s first born. it’s has always had huge growth (ha ha) and provides a wide variety and great pricing (free, a lot of the time). the bigger problem? computer viruses. well, and people discovering your secret stash of beastiality bondage films. but the good news is that they’re developing a more variable pricing options for your new porn that will be a bang for your buck.

on top of that the article talks about traditional porn ailing condition (think hef, and the $145 million loss playboy took last year), raising costs of producing HD porn films and increased marketing as the solution.

why do i love this article? well, for one thing, everything about porn is unintentionally funny (the dialogue, the man perms, the glimmer of hope it gives men that the slutty sports bar waitress will give them a bj). and the more relevant points of interest:

• tight financial times have caused cable providers to reevaluate their smut tolerance level. money over morals. that’s a heart-warmer.
• PPV porn is a hugely undertapped market. the majority of cable subscribers weren’t aware that PPV porn was available (or so they say). marketing it to the target demographic could result in some big profits (that’s what she said).
• they’re figuring out how to be competitive with online porn. they know one of their biggest advantages is being able to be on a bigger screen (yikes!) and high definition. computers are great for that too, but you’re not always going to have as great of graphics if it’s coming from your Dell.
• they’re looking into the future. they’re not only seeing this as an opportunity to get more PPV porn in more houses, but it’s also looking into what will make PPV porn hand over fist better than internet porn: production-wise more expensive porn. exotic locations and high definition.

also, though, i think the article opened my eyes to the resourcefulness of the cable company and the porn industry. it shows the porn industries willingness to evolve to best compete with it’s biggest threat: the internet. they’re really riding their core competitive competencies with HD and using targeting to market to their audience. they’re working with the cable companies in a win-win situation that helps their industry grow. they’re diversifying their pricing structure to reach greater audiences. i would think the next step is to have a more wholistic offering the marries the power of the variety on the internet and the thrill of the bigger and more life-like small screen. time will only tell. i hope the porn/cable model plays out in other media industries as well. and, i think some major broadcasters have started consider more adaptation to the marketplace, but i definitely think one thing they could learn from porn: flexibility.

the first agency: "where else are they gonna go?"

A BAD TIME TO LOOK FOR A JOB

i graduated from DePaul University in chicago in June 2001 with a bachelor’s degree in marketing. i was dating one of the many men i thought i would spend the rest of my life with. my friends and i went to thailand as our last big hurrah before we had no more summer and winter breaks. when we came back to chicago, i procrastinated job hunting, using “i have the rest of my life to work” as an excuse. on a random day, during this “down time”, is when i was awoken at 10 am (at minimum an hour and a half earlier than usual) to my roomate telling me that we were being bombed. the first of the twin towers in nyc had been struck. this immediately had me up and at the tv, watching in horror as the attack i could have never imagined on US soil had started. of course, you remember all of this, so i don’t need to remind you.

for the next couple of days, my friends and i stayed clear of the chicago loop, as the occasional military jet or helicopter screamed overhead and kept watch over the city. every morning, we would stay in our pajamas and watch tv, waiting for a safety confirmation that would give us enough confidence to leave the house. this was one of the absolute worst times that my generation had to start job hunting.

the american economy had started sinking and during hard economic times, marketing budgets are one of the first things to go. most marketing and ad agencies were laying off their staff, so hiring new blood was out of the question. things were looking bleak. i had to start considering moving back to st. louis.

FUCK IT. I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING ELSE

then, a friend told me that his roomate’s ad agency was looking for interns. an internship? i am way overqualified for an internship. i have a bachelor’s degree. i had lots of great internships in college. but…i’m not really doing anything else, am i? fuck it. i have to start somewhere.

later that week, i took the redline to the chicago stop and hiked over to 737 Michigan Ave. a street that is usually a sea of dark roots and bald suburbanites was a ghost town. everytime a police siren or there was a plane overhead, the half a dozen brave pedestrians stopped in their tracks and held their breath. we were confident leaving the house, but there was a general consensus that THAT is what THEY wanted us to think. so, the walk that morning took slightly longer than it would later on (when it became a part of my working girl’s routine). i met with my friend’s roomate *milhouse and his boss, and they let me know i had the internship. i would work 9am to 5pm every weekday for 3 months and i would be paid $4 per day (they actually paid me out of petty cash at the end of the week with a crisp $20). i was finally working.

THE AD AGENCY

advertising seemed pretty cool. the agency had laid off pretty much anyone over the age of 30, other than 5 partners and 1 media director (my boss). so, we were a bunch of 20 year olds. mostly single. probably alcoholic. and we each worked harder than viagra in a whore house. that was one of the best times in my life. i was working in media as an intern, but because they had laid off the vast majority of the media team, this $4 employee was writing media plans, writing ad copy, doing traffic, sitting in creative brainstorms, working on the pr group’s street team, and occassionally making mass quantities of jello shots. i watched ads go from a random passing thought in a 11pm meeting to photoshop to client present to the side of a bus. well, not only did i get to watch it…i got to touch it. i even got to help mold it along the way. at this stage in my life, it was the best thing that ever happened to me, because i didn’t care about money and i didn’t know shit about advertising.

over time, i got really comfortable with my lot in the agency and even started dating the roomate (another man i thought i’d spend the rest of my life with). things were great. we made friends with the local bartenders and were drinking on pennies usually 5 nights a week and we maintained our sanity with 16 inch softball and karaoke. really, it doesn’t get much better than this.

A REAL SALARY

then, after 6 months, they began paying me $10 a day (which, i considered a 150% raise). a couple months after that, the agency won 2 new business pitches and were able to offer me a full time position with a real salary (let’s just say it was enough to rent a small, shanty, but i couldn’t afford to pay the bills). it wasn’t much, but that first paycheck felt like a winning lottery ticket, even if it more closely resembled the dollar amount on a speeding ticket. i was proud. the agency wanted to keep me and had the funds to do it. things were starting to turn around.

FAST FORWARD ONE YEAR

so, things were good. mostly. the agency had started to make more money. they at least had enough to remodel the lobby and hire some new copy writers. they still owned a box at united center and overall, the agency was doing better. that’s when the natives got restless. review time was upon us. all of us had glowing reviews of how much we had accomplished in the last year and how much more we would be responsible for. promotions were going around and people there was a happy electricity in the air. that was before we realized that, yes, we kicked some advertising ass in the past year and ,yes, there were a lot of new responsibilities and projects coming our way, but, no one would be receiving pay raises. and, being all of 22, this was an outrage. all the long hours, client verbal abuse, and 12 client’s per person were killing us. sure, the agency was doing great, but there was no relief or reward in sight. we were one pissed off group of 20-somethings. the agency didn’t really want to tell anyone that they weren’t getting raises, so the partners just avoided the topic and eye contact in general. they had a shit storm brewing and had no fucking clue.

a couple of weeks went by and the tension was palpable. the general background noise of coworkers flirting and laughing was gone. office doors were constantly closed so no one could see the desperate sobbing from unpaid bills and what now? things were getting done, but the magic and the fun was gone. that was when an account executive went out to drinks with *fred. they were just blowing off some steam and after a couple of drinks, she asked *fred what they were going to do with all the unhappy employees that were really counting on a pay raise. fred looked up from his whiskey and water, put his long fingernails on the table and said “where else they gonna go?”
SOMEWHERE
oh, fred. those are some famous last words, aren’t they? once word got out of his attitude towards his young and struggling workforce, every resume was updated. i think we all actually worked harder so we’d have more and stronger fluff to include. we started showing up to work in suits and taking long lunches, and by the time a year had passed, all of us had found somewhere to go.
we all kept in touch, but it never had the same magic or twinkle it used to. some of us broke up and some of us got married, but one thing remains. it was a really, really great ride.
TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT

we were a bunch of advertising toddlers tossed together in the deep end. there were times we struggled and frantically gasped for air, but we held on to each other and found someway to tread water. the biggest mistake was that one of those who had thrown us in told us that he wouldn’t throw us a floaty and we couldn’t go to shore, so we taught ourselves to swim. what an asshole.

why am i doing this?

this is where i give you the background of this blog and what you can expect from me in the future. well, i’m an out of work media supervisor who just moved to the detroit area from minneapolis (and chicago before that). i’ve worked for one of the biggest and exciting retailers in the country and on some of the sexiest and buzzworthy campaigns (as well as some real duds). things have always been great. great jobs. great companies. great friends. great beer. i have a really kick ass resume, great connections and a controllable drinking “problem” that has nothing to do with my liver. so far, i’ve had a great career.

then, i moved to detroit . don’t get me wrong. i’m happy to be here and i’m here for all the right reasons. the problem is this damn economic crisis we’re in.

and now we’re here. i live with my husband, 2 dogs and 1 cat in the home of the in-laws. we just sold our house in minneapolis for 20% less than our purchase price (and after dealing with the real estate agent from hell). there are no jobs, and not just in advertising. so what is an unemployed, functioning alcoholic to do? write. write to the people that are in the same situation as i am. write about the industry, how to stay relevant and how to keep yourself busy. how to keep yourself marketable. how to keep yourself sane and laugh when it hurts to even smile. i know i’m not in dire straits and i am truly blessed for the many reasons why, but my ego is in the same muddy gutter as many others.

so, given the current economic conditions, break out the cardboard and sharpees and i’ll see you at exit ramp 12.

*note: the only reason i call it a problem is because it’s a lot and often, but it’s in quotes because my grandpa can still put me to shame.