while i need to save money, my hair had started getting a little annoying. pony tails galore. and this look was not helping me feel fresh and ready to take on the corporate world again. my last haircut, while i was employed, was about $75 (including taxes/tip). it was a really nice haircut and i felt great afterwards. the hard part is that i don’t want to send $75 on a haircut when i currently panic when i pay more than $12 for a meal. the last time i went to a discount hair chain, i spent the next couple weeks with my head tilted so that people couldn’t notice the significant length difference between the left and right sides of my hair.

so, what was the solution? an aveda institute haircut. the haircuts are done by students, under the supervision (and with some assistance) from an instructor. for $16 (no tipping allowed), i got the haircut i was going for. did i mention that there are some drawbacks? the first is that it took 3 hours. i have very, very thick hair, and i was going from shoulder length to very short, so it was already an undertaking, even for a seasoned salon veteran. second, my stylist was approximately 4’10”. i don’t want to discriminate, but it was difficult for her to see certain parts of my hair clearly, and shampooing seemed to be a challenge. third, it was my stylists first time on the salon floor. she was very sweet, but her inexperience showed. she didn’t really shampoo my hair, she more rubbed shampoo into my head with her palms. also, what took the instructor 20 seconds to do would take the student about 5 minutes. all of that attention to detail made her cuts very accurate, but she did not have the confidence to really take the haircut head on. 

overall, i would do it again. my hair definitely looks better than it would if i tried to go to a discount chain, no tipping definitely helps, and i still got a salon look. granted, i did get a $8 parking ticket for being an hour over the time i put in the meter, but it was still significantly less than what i would have paid at my regular salon.

things that i would do next time or tips for someone else?

1. eat before hand. my appointment was at 5pm, so i had a small cup of yogurt beforehand. mistake! i should have had a bowl of spaghetti or steak and baked potato to keep me full and more patient
2. bring a picture of what you want for your haircut. these students have not developed the intuition to know what you’re going for, and their instructor’s help them develop a plan of attack. they won’t be able to get to the desired destination without an idea of what direction they need to start. 
3. remember that its cheap and that’s why you’re doing it. you’re not paying an exorbitant amount, so don’t expect things like intuition, skill, and even confidence.
4. remember that the students really do want to do a good job. their grades depend on it. the instructor’s want the students to do well so that they learn and so that they can get more sacrificial lambs customers.
5. don’t be afraid to tell them what you’d like done differently while they’re working on your hair. too long? tell them. wrong part? tell them. they need to learn how to roll with the punches, and as long as you’re not a complete asshole about it, they should be able to use your feedback so that everybody is happy
6. they’re learning the newest methods, meaning that they know more than bowlcut and buzz. this is a great advantage, thought they don’t realize it.
7. it’s just a haircut. hair usually grows back. i’m sure there are cases where it doesn’t, but i wouldn’t ever expect my hair to not grow back unless it had been melted with laser beams.

the student haircut is probably not for every person. people who don’t have enough time, patience, or only trust their special stylist should not go to a student. also, those that always need to look perfect, this could still be rolling the dice. if you’re very risk averse, don’t bother. 

for the rest of us: cheap, patient, understanding, losers (with lots of time on your hands), it’s a great way to get a new, fresh look without spending a lot of money. also, you’re kind of helping some person get their start on a new career. my hair should have been a final exam, but teresa did great and should get extra credit.

so, i had a telephone interview yesterday. i felt very neutral about how it went. the interviewer seemed engaged, but not overly interested. i wasn’t nervous, but not entirely comfortable either. she’s very new to the company, so i didn’t expect her to have a lot of information about the company yet, so when she asked me “canned” interview questions, it didn’t phase me. (usually, when i get “canned” questions, i take it to mean that the interviewer is not taking a special interest in what i’m saying and therefore, going to default, HR-prepared questions to get through the interview).

a question she asked me about the worst [specific to this job-related] situation i’ve had to face threw me off a bit. i answered it honestly, recalling a situation where i had to help lead the team and organize client documents extremely quickly, yet accurately. we spoke for a little longer, then, parted ways. 

afterwards, i didn’t feel like it was a slam dunk or an air ball. it was just…a discussion with a stranger. 

well, as i was waking this morning, i had a dream that i was offered a job. the recruiter was very unclear about what the position was, and he was having a hard time explaining it. the second i woke up, i had a “shut up, becky”* moment. i realized several (at least 3) better answers for the question, all of which reflected my general knowledge of the specific position tasks, leadership, and organization. would have been perfect. i was even tempted to email her the 3 better answers this morning, but i decided that i would just have to let it be. 

i don’t know if i believe in fate or destiny, but i’m ok if i don’t get it. it’s not necessarily my dream job (i’d love to work for the firm, but this isn’t “the job i was born to do”) and i wasn’t completely on my game in the interview. i can accept that, just like i can accept that there could be more qualified people of whom would consider this position their dream job. so, que sera sera. 

*

let’s face it. this job economy sucks all kinds of things and there’s very little that anyone can do about it. 

in the past, determination and ego were all i needed to get my foot in the door and get an offer later in the week. i would network with employees i knew at the companies i wanted to work for, and i’d send out resumes to multiple people in the agency. then, i would swagger in, tell them of my accomplishments and make a joke or two. it’s a hard pill to swallow, but those times are history, like gas under $2/gallon and when only ER surgeons had cell phones. 

today’s landscape resembles more of a hyena’s drought-infested wasteland than the martini lunches of yesterday (which was probably only about two-three years ago). scraps of jobs are usually only left available after someone else is through with them (either because of moving or because they found a meatier scrap somewhere else). once that scrap becomes available, you have hundreds of hyena’s striking, clawing, and chewing their way to victory. sometimes, a lucky hyena has found a way to a scrap that nobody had sniffed out before. and sometimes, a particularly competitive hyena will cause enough damage to the other hyenas to render themselves harmless and defenseless. 

those lucky and competitive hyenas are few, amongst the hundreds of other damaged, thirsty and wide-eyed hungry. the hundreds of us that are left have a multitude of options at our disposal, though some of those alternatives may seem more like tofu than a scrap of meat. some hyenas will give up and starve. some will try an entirely new landscape. some will eat tofu.

me? i’ve decided to rest. rest and strategize. jumping into the huddle at every tasty-looking scrap of meat has me (and my ego) bloody and bruised. this is no way to go into the fights that really count. i’ve toughened up, and now, its time to rest. what this means for me is volunteering, exercise, focusing on hobbies (like cooking), looking for internships that have nothing to do with my field (just to try some other flavors), and, most importantly, not searching for a job every day.

the problem with searching for a job every day is that very little changes on the job boards from day to day. in the wasteland, it’s like searching for a drink of water in the same dried pond. it was just dust and cracked dirt yesterday. most likely, it will look the same today. that doesn’t mean that over some time, the pool will not replenish itself, but it will only make me more thirsty to visit the dried pond every single day.

ego is one of your best job hunting tools, and it can be a delicate thing. preserve it and find other ways to nurture it during this drought. remember, even if you’re not using your ego to help you win the battles today, you don’t know what potential victories could be in front of you down the road.

it’s getting harder to stay positive. i’ve found myself competing with folks that were recently laid off for jobs at the very companies that laid them off.  this was not good news when one of the companies that i’ve been interviewing with made me aware of this last week. 

as much as it stings, it makes sense. if i was forced to downsize my department, it would be tough. there are few people that i’ve ever actually wanted to fire. given the opportunity to re-hire those folks again would be a dream. not only would i get my team back, but the guilt of letting them go would be lifted.

of course, that isn’t helping me now. i think it’s given me more perspective of the intensity of the various challenges i’m facing. that perspective is not quite the ray of sunshine and hope i was looking for, but it could be more realistic.

i am very qualified, confident, experienced, skilled in many industries, and i have great references. usually, this gives me a really good edge and boosts me past some of the competition. right now, in this economy, with the layoffs, the concentration of unemployment in detroit, and some advertising work leaving detroit (for non-auto clients), i don’t really have the edge.

i don’t really feel sorry for myself, though. i’m not in a desperate situation. it could get there, but not yet. so, what is an unemployed schlub to do? i can’t get a job, which would be my first choice.

• strengthen my ties. keep in touch with folks. have lunch with old co-workers (even ones from out of town). keep yourself at the top of their memory bank if anybody asks them if they know anybody. you want as many people as possible to think of you first.
• consider classes at local colleges that differentiates my experience. maybe that’s graphic design, creative writing, etc.
• seriously think of ways to downsize your consumables. i’m a food snob. i don’t want to eat much in the way of processed or fast food, which are probably the cheapest dinner options. i can’t eat at my favorite restaurants, so i’ll make dinner at home. i’ll also cut ingredients that aren’t necessary or try to find ingredient substitutes that exist in my pantry (no sour cream? i do have yogurt…)
• take the time to get rid of crap. i’ve accumulated a stupid amount of crap that i don’t need. this includes toys i haven’t played with in a while that won’t be passed down to my children, clothes i don’t wear, books i don’t intend to read, etc. de-cluttering gives me a sense of control over my life.
• visit family/friends that i don’t get to see often. i don’t have a lot of money to spend, so i’ve been taking advantage of cheap megabus and amtrak fares.
• now that the weather is nice, go for a walk, familiar and unfamiliar territories. it gives you a chance to get away from your constant surroundings and get inside your head for a while
• discover new music. i could spend hours on rcrdlbl.com listening to new bands or songs. 
• make lists of what i’ve liked and disliked about previous jobs.
• keep hope alive!
• LATE ADDITION: volunteer. i should have said it earlier, but the great thing about volunteering, even if its seasonal, is that it keeps you busy and extends your network. 

this was initially part of the previous post, but decided it was long enough to be on its own. i’ve been noticing more and more that some of my friends are not good at or don’t know how to make friends/connections at work. this is just an initial jumping board of ideas to get the ball rolling.

now, keep in mind, this doesn’t mean you have to schmooze. i really hate schmoozing. and you won’t really make connections with people if its based in schmooze. that’s like trying to build a gingerbread house on a base of melted caramel. (apparently, i’m hungry).

best approaches?:

• team building activities. it could mean playing for the company softball/kickball/bowling team (which could end up being fun). it could mean going on a bar crawl (or charity walk) with a handful of co-workers. these are usually a great way to get to know large groups of people at your office in just one effort. and, usually, no one cares if you really suck at the sport you’re playing.
• striking up a conversation in the break room about the newest twilight movie. i say twilight movie because people generally have strong feelings or know someone else with strong feelings about those movies. hate them, or love them, almost everyone’s connected to them. just like kevin bacon. there are other topics that people are usually connected to (that aren’t politically volatile): harry potter, kanye west, lindsay lohan, how often people twitter, should dogs be allowed in the workplace, how often should you be required to call your mother, carrot top, hugh grant or anne hathaway movies, is sarah jessica parker attractive, ncaa pools…topics to avoid: recycling, abortion, health care, iraq war, racial profiling, company layoffs, god/lack of, infidelity/cheating (tiger woods) or any subject where you get in heated discussions with your current friends/family. if it causes or can cause friction at home, leave it at home.
• asking a co-worker about what they did over the weekend. if they went bowling, and you’ve been looking for a league *BANG* something. if they went feather bowling, and you’ve never heard of it *BANG* something to chat about and learn. however, regardless of how you feel, do not criticize or bum out the story. for instance, if carol the supervisor went snowboarding with her kids, it would probably be best not to talk about how you think it’s to dangerous for kids to participate or that your uncle died in a horrific snowboarding accident. bad taste. this may be common sense to you right now, but it does not always compute in time. trust me. just bite your tongue and find something else to talk about.

i’ve been at a good number of advertising agencies, and the one thing that i’ve found to be invaluable is meeting/getting to know people. let’s be clear on what this means. i hate politics. i hate ass kissing. i hate schmoozing (i don’t even really socialize at work functions). but, actually getting to know people does a couple of things for you:

• being on a large scale radar. imagine this. two people chatting over coffee, let’s call them fred and eunice. you’ve worked with fred, and even though fred is generally shy and quiet, you became casual work friends and know a little bit about each other. eunice is new in town and has started at a new agency. eunice realizes that they do not expertise in flash animation. she’d love to pay someone boat loads of money to come in and be the flash expert and train the other folks in flash, but she’s not really sure who would be good for this type of position. over coffee, fred instantly thinks of how you led 6-7 flash projects. multiply this situation over as many people as you’ve talked to at your previous jobs. that’s a large meatball of potential references. now, imagine if you just passed fred’s office everyday and never bothered to say ‘hi’. 
• finding the right person. even if its not in your field, you may need to know someone that knows someone (for completely legit and legal activities), and building your network is the best way to do it. if you need to talk to a lawyer that specializes in real estate, but you’re not in the real estate or law professions, word of mouth could be the difference between finding a bulldog or a chihuahua.
• mutual back-scratching. someone may ask you to pass along a resume, provide guidance to a friend, or ask for a linkedin reference. the rules for these types of activities are generally on par with helping someone move. once you do a favor for someone, they will almost always be happy to return the favor. *good to note too, that i’ve had many compliments on linkedin references, so i’d stockpile, employed or not, if you can.
• friendship and truthful insight. some of my very best friends i met through work. i’ve found their opinions to be extremely helpful in my career from a number of areas. 1) they are generally good about how to communicate my strengths and weaknesses, if i ask. this helps me grow, but off the record. 2) they can be a great sounding board for how skewed my perceptions at work could be and support. they can tell me if i’m being crazy, or if they also think we need to address that other crazy person. 3) they can tell me what an unfamiliar environment is really like. i’m thinking of working for abc agency, but i want to know what they’re really like behind closed doors. are they tyrants? are they caring? are they stingy? are they sexist? because most agencies have a revolving door at HR, i can usually find someone that knows, whether they’ve worked there or they have a friend that did. 

another quick thing i wanted to note: don’t underestimate anyone. maybe the mail guy seems creepy and a little squirrelly, but they could end up being a) the son of the company (or another desirable company) president  b) the president of the company, or another desirable company, someday c) your boss someday d) your bff’s newest boyfriend e) human (you should just treat everyone with respect. i just wanted to give you more reasons to, if that wasn’t already a part of your general m.o.).

at least i have the ncaa tournament to keep me company.

the job hunting environment is a grim, unforgiving, humbling place to be right now. on the somewhat bright side of things, i’ve been having potential job related discussions with a couple of very promising ad agencies with national, prominent clients. did i say discussions? right now, it feels a little more like a kick in the nuts (if i had nuts).

what i’ve come to learn is that if i want to work at some of the more innovative, groundbreaking, creative organizations, it’ll come at a price. a price that i haven’t been paid for about 5 years. it’s a demotion with a side of paycut.

now, the logical, reasonable part of my brain (which is, by far, not a terribly  big part of my brain) says that this is a tough economy. i’m lucky to find any promising bites, including the bites from guppies, anchovies and the occasional sardine. if i am hungry, and i have what would normally be used as bait on my line, i should eat.

the other part of my brain thinks differently though. this is the part of my brain that still relishes in my 2002 advertising softball league catch and tag out at home plate during the playoffs. that guy never saw it coming. my ego says, “the last time you made that salary, the ‘thong song’ was in the top 20” (this statement isn’t entirely true, but my ego has a tendency to exaggerate). i worked very hard to get where i am now, i was a sardine for 4 years and this could end up being a red flag on my resume.

so, which part of the brain will win? time will tell. i’m going to continue talking to the agencies. maybe i’ll uncover some potential bonus to eating humble pie. or, maybe my ego will get the bets of me.

as we move forward, i guess the biggest things i’m taking into consideration are:

• yes, it’s taking the delorean back to poodle skirts and egg creams. BUT, i wasn’t too unhappy then either. i didn’t have to worry about the trials and tribulations of an entire department. i didn’t have to worry about staffing and firings. i didn’t have to worry about driving the agency into the wave of the future. i was a passenger and navigator, and it wasn’t uncomfortable.
• is the organization appealing? as i go through the interview process, i can take the opportunity to take the agencies’ temperatures. if its an ideal environment, maybe this would be a good place to start growing roots. after all, i’m not leaving detroit any time soon.
• do i have any leverage? considering my salary history is a lot higher, maybe there are other areas that are more flexible that could act as the dangling carrot (in a less demeaning way). more vacation/holiday time? working from home? could i negotiate an early scheduled review for potential promotion/raise?
• can we afford to? it’s a paycut, so i may have to sell a solid gold toilet or two, but it’s not chump change. i just hope that “lisa needs braces” wouldn’t haunt me during my tenure (25 points for naming the reference).
• who would be my boss? if we’re talking about potential bruises to my ego, let’s make sure its not a hemorrhage. would my boss be unqualified to lead me? would my boss expect that i know nothing about the business? would my boss teach me a thing or two about leadership and politics?
• is the job market going to improve in the next 6 to 12 months? in detroit, probably not. even the magic 8 ball knows that the outlook is not so good. in spite of it all, maybe this is as good as its going to get for a while. A bite, even a small one, could still be a good thing.

stay tuned, sports fans. things should get interesting…hopefully.

UPDATE: next interview went well. one more interview to go, which i’ve been warned might not happen within the next week or two. and i’ve discovered new information. not only would this be a demotion, but all of the responsibilities i had as a new graduate, 9 years ago. so, there’s good and bad in that. mostly good. i like rolling up my sleeves. i like being involved. the bad: that’s a lot of responsibilities. and its still a demotion…but, mama has needs and watching ellen doesn’t pay the bills. i do wish watching ellen would pay the bills. she pays lots of people’s bills, come to think of it. but she’s not paying mine. until that loveable, bright eyed vegan is paying my bills, i will be examining all options with an open mind.

i’ll be honest. i currently enjoy having the time to cook a variety of delectables that i see on america’s test kitchen, make sure all the laundry is done, clean the bathroom, practice the viola, and get caught up on battlestar gallactica. these are definitely things i didn’t have the time to do only a few weeks ago. but, in the long run, i don’t know if that’s going to be enough.

until recently, i oversaw approx. 20 people and supporting one of the largest auto manufacturers in the world. those were some of the things i liked about it. and they paid me well for it. in previous jobs, i had such a sense of pride negotiating with digital publishers and creating unique and interesting digital campaigns. it was exciting, and it was ego boosting.

my friends tell me that i need to find a new sense of pride and not identify who i am with what i do. i don’t disagree, but it’s how i’ve identified myself for so long, at least in my own head.

before, i was an associate director. i directed people and teams. i was in charge of their success and failure, on the front line, with the client. that’s who i was.

so, now, who am i? i guess its up to me, but anything i’ve thought of does not have the same bite. beginner viola player? novice snowboarder? recreational volleyball/kickball player? thai american princess? i know i’m all of these things, but, as much as i don’t want to admit it, i miss a title.

that leads me to the next related topic, though. a couple of days ago, i received a call from a previous employer. i left on good terms, so it’s always good to keep in touch. they want to consider me for a new position, but there’s a catch. it’s essentially for a demotion. not as a reflection on me, i’ve been assured, but because that’s what is currently have available and i am undeniably capable.

so, is it a consideration? i’m on the fence. i’m 60% no, 10% maybe and 30% yes.

the no is due to :

• progress. the fact that i’ve worked very hard to be where i’m at, and this is a step back. no matter how you slice it.
• pride. i’ve taken compromises to my pride in the past and it’s not turned out well
• leadership. i have almost twice as much experience as the people i’d be reporting to. experience doesn’t necessarily mean that i’m better, but it does account for something, and i do not want to put myself in a situation where the sheep are leading the herder. i’ve lead herders, and most of the time, it has held me back worse than if i’d just followed. the accountability and credit goes to the herder, not the sheep.

maybe has everything to do with my assessed ability to put all the no factors to the side.

the yes is all about:

• $$$: i’m not getting paid to watch the ellen degeneres show and play with fonts on my resume.
• progress: the longer i’m standing still, it will begin to evolve into regression, rather than remaining stationary. while it would be one step back, over time, i could get back to where i was.

i haven’t officially received any offers, but the conversations have got me thinking. i’m not ready to say yes to an official step back, but i won’t rule it out. i might have to check my pride a the door. i sure as hell hope not any time soon, but it could be coming up on the horizon.